Hell-noodles

Take one pack of "Instant noodles, chicken flavour", the ones with the slighly sinister-looking oriental gentleman depicted on the package, similar to the Chinese villains one would encounter in a Tintin book, add to this a finely chopped leek, some "extra extra hot Piri Piri" sauce (obviously for the European palate; the label promises much but this stuff is mild at best), cover with thin strips of cheap Brie and consume while watching Hellraiser. It will surely enhance the gastronomic experience when the just newly reconstituted Frank talks to Julia and you (like I) will possibly have to pause eating the gloopy mess on your plate or turn off the film. Please try this at least once and let me know how you got on.